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The Hard Nipples stories always start like this ...
The dinner party was coming to an end. The guests were Jane, Jenny,
Louise, Lucy and John. The hostess was Lesley. They had been drinking
beer most of the evening, and had had a good meal of steak and chips with
bread rolls. The party was taking place in Lesley's kitchen, furnished in
vinyl and lino. They had just finished coffee and liqueurs when Louise
asked where the loo was. 'Oh shit,' Lesley said, 'I knew there was
something I meant to see to. I'm afraid the drains are blocked.' This was
bad news for the rest of the company too, since they were beginning to feel
that their bladders could do with emptying before long. 'What have *you*
been doing, then, Lesley?' Lucy asked. Lesley coughed embarrassedly and
glanced towards a red plastic bucket in the corner of the kitchen. Now
they were all pretty drunk and feeling horny enough, but none of them was
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